RelateKC Blog

  • The Value of Forgiveness

    So often we interchange the meanings of weakness and forgiveness don’t we?  We have come to associate forgiveness with vulnerability and being vulnerable has become a faux pas.  We are nothing if we are not fierce and self-sufficient.  Right?  We strive for perfection.  To be women with no faults or flaws.  And this works for awhile, on the surface.  Until we realize how alone we are.  How ashamed.  How angry and bitter and competitive.  Isolation and anger and resentment prevent us from relaxing which prevents us from regenerating and reconditioning.  We are stuck.      


    When we blame others for how we feel or what we have experienced, we keep ourselves stuck in victimhood and inaction.  Each time you react and blame you release the chemicals associated with stress including adrenaline, cortisol and norepinephrine.  Those chemicals limit creativity and problem-solving and lead to feelings of helplessness. 


    So what is the alternative?  I offer you FORGIVENESS.


    When we forgive the part of our brain responsible for the perception and suppression of pain is activated.  Consider all possible interpretations of a difficult situation; one which might elicit your forgiveness.  Consider the constructive learning that is the result of the difficult experience.  Take responsibility for your feelings by avoiding the displacement of blame and remember the commonality of pain and hurt.  Emotions are universal.